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Obama Plants “28 Million Year Old Fossils” In Mississippi to Confuse Religious Conservatives

It was an exciting day for covert black-ops in Mississippi as two men, presumably CIA agents on orders from the Oval Office, were reported to have dug up “28 million year old fossils” near Waynesboro, Mississippi.

In what is clearly an effort to bolster Democratic outcomes in the upcoming 2014 midterm elections and advertise the Keynesian economic model of digging a hole and filling it back up again, one of the operatives espoused the find as “a treasure trove of knowledge and education for the rest of the world not just the state or the country,” hinting at Obama furthering his globalist, Kenyan, radicalist agenda in the remaining years of his presidency.

The men, who deceived the American public by using their operative names Roger Rains and Andy Weller, were excited to have dug up such “ancient” remains.

It all began in 2012 when the digging duo dug up an object in the area which would later be identified as a rhinoceros tooth.  Operative Weller, in an effort to further mislead the public from the overarching conspiracy stated, “The next time we would go down there we would pull out a pig tooth and then the next time it would be a type of a dear and it just went on and on and on.”

Joe Biden - the best teeth in America.  Coincidence?

Joe Biden – the best teeth in America. Coincidence? Of course not.

It’s no secret that this administration and this President have close ties to Africa and teeth.  Obama, having been born in Kenya, would have clear access to the rhinoceros tooth in question.  The rhinoceros, a slow African animal, isn’t native to the United States and has never been seen in the wild in North America.  Let us not forget Vice President Joe Biden, the master tooth-man of the country can be seen in almost every photograph showcasing his flawless, ivory smile.

So how did these operatives find a tooth in the Mississippi wilderness?  Simple, Obama put it there.  In an undated photograph, President Obama can be seen, flanked by Secret Service Agents, as he prepares to bury the rhinoceros tooth which is to be later found by operatives Rains and Weller.

We cannot be fooled, Mr. President.  Your attempts at convincing us that the earth is older than 6,000 years are flawed and in vain.

Weller went on to suggest that with more and more “ancient remains” being found in the Mississippi mud that it might be worthwhile to start a museum outside of Waynesboro.

“We just want something good to come to Waynesboro and you know try to get a museum going in the future.”

As the philosopher John Boehner once said, “HELL NO” Agent Weller!  Mississippi doesn’t need more Federal spending to store Obama’s African rhino teeth!

So while President Obama keeps misusing our CIA to promote myths of  rhino fossils and other 28 million year old artifacts in the 6,000 year-old Mississippi ground, we’ll be keeping a close eye on Obama’s shovel ready tooth digging program.