Obama Throws Tantrum Over Birthday Cake, Causes 4.2 Magnitude Earthquake in Oklahoma
Denied a slice of Bill Clinton’s birthday cake, Obama’s fit sent seismic tremors westward culminating in a 4.2 magnitude earthquake in Oklahoma.
During a private celebration of Bill Clinton’s birthday yesterday in the Oval Office, President Barack Hussein Obama was denied birthday cake by Michelle citing “too much sugar for today” which ended in the President throwing a tantrum for the ages. Contorting into a fit of rage, the President began jumping up and down screaming “That’s not fair!” while noting that former Presidential primary contender and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was allowed two pieces while he received none. As it turns out, even the President has had it with the First Lady’s Let’s Move campaign when it affects him directly (and it’s just like him to want to “spread the cake around”).
Due to all of President Obama’s jumping and carrying on, seismic activity was felt all the way in Oklahoma as a 4.2 magnitude earthquake was reported outside of Guthrie by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS).
One Twitter user, Shelley Leveridge, tweeted “I just went surfing in bed,” signifying the tidal wave of rage Obama sent rippling into the heartland.
While USGS reports that earthquakes registering 4.0 or greater increase the chances of damage and injury, Austin Holland, a research seismologist, calls it “highly unlikely” that the President’s tantrum caused any damage.
Oklahoma noticed a dramatic increase in seismic activity during Congressional discussion over the bill that would later become the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, or “Obamacare,” which would coincide with Obama’s tantrum throwing. The tantrum-quakes have been increasing steadily each year, as opposition has been steadily growing against Obama’s agenda to turn the United States into a Sharia Law practicing, Communist, welfare-state, Muslim Indonesia.
So as President Obama’s radical agenda fails, so does the foundations of homes across rural Oklahoma – a small price to pay to preserve the basic freedom and liberty of the richest among us to not pay for a damn thing. Also, this has nothing to do with cracking shale rock under Oklahoman’s feet apart to suck natural gas out of it. Capitalism has zero negative side effects, silly.